Impersonal Attractions Read online

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Impersonal Attractions

  PART ONE

  ONE

  TWO

  THREE

  FOUR

  FIVE

  SIX

  SEVEN

  EIGHT

  NINE

  TEN

  ELEVEN

  TWELVE

  THIRTEEN

  FOURTEEN

  FIFTEEN

  SIXTEEN

  SEVENTEEN

  EIGHTEEN

  NINETEEN

  TWENTY

  TWENTY-ONE

  TWENTY-TWO

  TWENTY-THREE

  TWENTY-FOUR

  TWENTY-FIVE

  TWENTY-SIX

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  TWENTY-NINE

  PART TWO

  THIRTY

  THIRTY-ONE

  THIRTY-TWO

  THIRTY-THREE

  THIRTY-FOUR

  THIRTY-FIVE

  THIRTY-SIX

  THIRTY-SEVEN

  THIRTY-EIGHT

  THIRTY-NINE

  FORTY

  FORTY-ONE

  FORTY-TWO

  FORTY-THREE

  FORTY-FOUR

  FORTY-FIVE

  FORTY-SIX

  FORTY-SEVEN

  Impersonal Attractions

  By Sarah Shankman

  Copyright 2013 by Sarah Shankman

  Cover Copyright 2013 by Ginny Glass and Untreed Reads Publishing

  The author is hereby established as the sole holder of the copyright. Either the publisher (Untreed Reads) or author may enforce copyrights to the fullest extent.

  Previously published in print, 1985.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold, reproduced or transmitted by any means in any form or given away to other people without specific permission from the author and/or publisher. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to the living or dead is entirely coincidental.

  http://www.untreedreads.com

  For my mother and father

  with thanks to Rita Sitnick and Vin Gizzi

  for their loving support

  and to Allen Verne

  for the advice

  Impersonal Attractions

  Sarah Shankman

  PART ONE

  ONE

  As she fumbled for it, the silver-faced clock crashed to the floor. Annie Tannenbaum groaned and squinted at the time. Six A.M. Outside the Sunset Scavenger truck was chewing garbage.

  Why, God, she asked, was her neighborhood first? Why couldn’t they come at sunset as their sign advertised? Couldn’t the garbage be allowed to age a little? Would that be asking too much?

  She pulled the dusty-rose comforter over her head, but it didn’t help. Light was already creeping in around the edges of the shades, through the white lace curtains. It was going to be another one of those flawless, bright blue San Francisco days.

  Give me a break, guys. Sometimes a little gloom is good for the soul. The inside of her head felt foggy. Maybe today would be the day she stopped smoking. Maybe. But not likely.

  At least she didn’t have to get up this second. She snuggled down deeper under the creamy-white cotton sheets, reached for a mauve and pink flowered pillow that had fallen on the floor. She liked all four of the pillows tucked around her. Like a soft, snuggly cave.

  There was a small black and brown bear wedged into one of the three white bookcases lining one wall. On another shelf sat a long-limbed doll with blonde hair and a blue satin dress. Her father had won it for her when she was a very little girl by tossing baseballs at the county fair.

  Next to it sat a red-bound book of fairy tales and fables. But the rest of the books weren’t childish—Faulkner, Fitzgerald, Elmore Leonard among the thousands of volumes. Nor was the rest of the room.

  But it was unquestionably a woman’s bedroom: walls of palest pink, deepening in corners, flirting with the light; a Dresden-blue four-drawer bureau; a white wicker planter filled with various ferns; a rocking chair cushioned with cerise and violet cabbage roses, beside which a twenties wrought-iron lamp gilded golden through its elaborate jet-beaded silk shade. Old things. Comfortable.

  Annie stretched and yawned. Nothing pressing until lunch with Sam. Maybe she’d just lie here for a while. Think about her book. Think about what she was going to have for lunch. She could always think about lunch.

  Then her next-door neighbor turned over in bed. Christ! Annie sat up, holding the comforter to her chest against the cool San Francisco morning, and scowled at the wall behind her. Nothing like Bunny Dolan to ruin her day, not to mention the night before. She really had to do something about Bunny.

  Not that she hadn’t tried. She had complained to Tony, the super, but all he did was laugh. Bunny was pretty funny, Annie had to admit, but less funny if you shared a wall with her four-poster bed.

  The infamous, elaborately carved, mahogany bed, inherited from one of Bunny’s Irish-American ancestors (among the crème de la crème of San Francisco society, as Bunny managed to say at least once in every conversation) was separated from Annie’s brass headboard by a wall that was thick, but not thick enough. The four-poster was large and wobbly, like an old wooden boat in a choppy sea, and it crashed into the wall every time Bunny moved.

  And when Bunny had company in bed, she moved a lot. Luckily for Annie, Bunny had gained weight and lost suitors in the past year, so there had been relative quiet from the other side of the wall.

  Last night, however, the swain Bunny referred to as the Italian Stallion had galloped into town. Aptly named, Annie thought. The man’s staying power should be documented in the Guinness Book of World Records.

  They were awake. Boom! A cannon shot would have been more discreet. Annie heard Bunny’s murmur, then a sharp giggle, followed by the sound of the Stallion neighing.

  Annie pulled the pink comforter over her head. It was no use. Once the concert began she was stuck with orchestra seats. It wasn’t just Bunny’s bed. Bunny herself could have gone on the Carson show doing animal imitations.

  She was warming up now with the more frequently repeated bass line—a grunting that punctuated each breath.

  Annie flopped over on her stomach, smashed her pillow over her head, and screamed into her mattress. It didn’t help. Anything she could do, they could do louder.

  At least this one was quick. Small favor, thank you, God. The Stallion sprinted to a finish. His neighs of pleasure, counterpointed with Bunny’s shrieks, filled out the final chorus. It was a song one had to hear to believe. And lots of Bunny’s neighbors were believers.

  Including Jorge, the Colombian shipping clerk/drug dealer who lived on Bunny’s other side. Once Bunny had had the gall to complain about the volume of Jorge’s stereo.

  “Hey, lady, you got some nerve!” he’d yelled. “I hear you, lady, I hear you fucking all night long!”

  The battle lines had been drawn then, and Bunny averted her eyes whenever they passed in the hallway, as if Jorge would mind being cut dead by one from San Francisco society.

  Jorge didn’t give a damn. He was street smart and he played dirty. He taped her love wails one night and lay in wait for the perfect opportunity to replay them. It presented itself a few days later in the crowded elevator.

  First there was stu
nned silence and embarrassed staring at the floor indicator. Then the tittering began, and in moments the elevator rocked with laughter. Bunny was reduced to tears.

  This particular sunny morning Annie felt close to tears herself. Was a little jealousy nibbling at her soul?

  Come on, Annie. Buck up, girl, she told herself. Give old Bunny a break. And give yourself a break too. But you’ll just have to wait your turn. Right now, get out of this bed and face the day.

  Annie hauled her long body toward the blue and white kitchen. Her stomach felt better already. She stood, naked, in front of the open fridge and stared at the possibilities.

  Croissant. Blackberry preserves. Good strong coffee.

  The day was looking sweeter already.

  Besides, she was having lunch with Sam.

  TWO

  While Annie showered in her white-tiled bathroom in Pacific Heights, some thirty blocks south, on the other side of town, a young, curly-haired woman named Sondra Weinberg handed a man a dollar tip. He thanked her with a Buck knife in her chest.

  “Oh God!” she gasped, staring down at the crimson stain that was her blood blossoming out across her white silk blouse. Red, like the paper poppies veterans handed out at shopping centers, blooming on her ample breast.

  The dollar bill fluttered to her Oriental carpet and lay untouched as Sondra grasped at the pain with both hands.

  The black-handled knife sat glowering, burning. Part of her mind detached and watched as the grinning man slowly pulled out the knife. His grin was wet. Spittle flashed obscenely. His tongue flicked at it. He pulled the knife slowly, sensually, as if he were detaching himself from her after a particularly lewd sex act.

  A torrent of blood followed.

  The pain will stop any minute, she thought. It’s over now.

  Of course it wasn’t. The blond-haired man with the knife in his hand had just begun.

  Before he was finished, Sondra’s round belly, pillowy breasts, and soft thighs would be gulping with little mouths of blood. Crimson would stain his hands and lips and penis. And when she was quite still and quite dead he would dip one finger into the deep scarlet pool where her heart was beating just minutes before, before he cut it out, and draw four arms bent at right angles—the symbol for genocide—in the middle of her forehead.

  Afterward he washed himself carefully in her silent, sunny bathroom and dried himself on her yellow towels. Then he trimmed the bottom of each stem of the twelve white roses he had brought her, trimmed them with his black-handled Buck knife and carefully placed them in a tall blue vase filled with cold water. They would live a long time.

  Then he left, closing Sondra’s door firmly behind him, checking to make sure it was safely latched.

  THREE

  Pacific Heights is one of San Francisco’s oldest, most elegant neighborhoods. The great fire of 1906 stopped at the broad avenue called Van Ness, sparing the marble-stepped mansions and the colorfully painted gingerbread row houses. Annie’s six-story apartment building, with the generous proportions of the late twenties, was creamy stucco with rococo cornices. Almost identical buildings were scattered throughout the neighborhood. Perched at the corner of Pierce and California, it was located on the last block going south that could still honestly claim the tony Pacific Heights name. Then there was a quick decline into the Western Addition, where poverty festered among gaping holes the city had torn out of the ghetto, meaning to reclaim them, someday.

  Annie left her building and walked uphill northward, toward the neighborhood’s prosperous heart. She passed the yellow Victorian that housed an exercise studio for the ladies who lunched. As class time approached, the street’s narrow parking spaces would fill with Mercedeses and BMWs. Passersby could watch the wealthy and trendy, waving their thin arms, clad in the very latest geranium, teal, and silver velour exercise gear.

  Annie had tried the studio. After all, it was just across the street. But she found the distance much longer. It was like stepping into the society column of the morning paper, and frankly, she didn’t care for it. She’d found her own class down at the Marina, filled with women who worked for their lunches—and their breakfasts and their dinners, as she did.

  She was going to be late for this lunch with Sam if she didn’t hurry. She could have taken her car, an old yellow Volkswagen convertible named Agatha, but parking in the city was such an ordeal that it was quicker to walk the fifteen or so blocks. Up the hill she climbed, skirting the edge of Alta Plaza Park, bracing her knees for the torturously steep downhill slope, passing one gorgeous house after another until she reached the flatlands and the glitzy, boutiqued commercial strip of Union Street.

  Samantha was waiting for Annie at The Deli, sipping bottled water and holding down the best table in the restaurant. The best table, the whitest teeth, the shiniest black curls—all seemed to be Samantha Storey’s birthright, along with her grandfather’s money. She was the kind of woman who entered a room and made you want to go home, lose five pounds, redo your hair, and get dressed all over again. You also might want to kill her, until, like Annie, you discovered that behind the Vogue cover was the best friend you could ever have.

  Annie and Sam had met through a personal ad in the Bay Guardian. Annie had been “browsing,” she said, when she found an ad by a gay man looking for a lover who sounded just right for her friend Hoyt. Hoyt answered and found his true love, Emmett—whose old high-school chum was Samantha.

  As Hoyt and Emmett were becoming lovers, Annie and Sam became the best of friends. For the past three years they had seen each other at least once a week and talked on the phone almost daily.

  Sam’s sisters were in Southern California. Annie was an only child. They listened to one another through the little things (“Do you think I should shorten my gray skirt?”) and the big (“I think I have a lump in my left breast”). They were family.

  “Would you look at this place?” Sam waved her beautifully manicured hand.

  Annie looked. The restaurant was done in standard California: redwood, ferns, a sliding greenhouse roof, a carved, Art Nouveau bar.

  “So?”

  “Couldn’t you go blind from the glitter of gold chains?” Sam nodded in the direction of the stag line at the bar.

  “I thought you meant interior decoration. I didn’t know we were window shopping. Aren’t we eating?” Annie reached for the menu.

  “Since when can’t we do both at the same time?”

  “Since there’s never anything here to choose from. Unless you’ve developed a sudden yen for coke dealers or twelve-year-olds.” Annie looked past the gold chains to a handsome, very young man sipping a beer at the end of the bar. “I’d rather choose from the menu.” She glanced down at it then closed it decisively. “I’ll have the cheese blintzes. You have the pastrami. We’ll share.”

  “Why, Annie Tannenbaum! Dairy and meat!” Sam clucked.

  “God, what would I do without you, the guardian of my Jewish soul? My mother thanks you, my grandmother thanks you, my Aunt Essie thanks you.”

  It was an old joke. Samantha, with her dark curls, tawny complexion, and high cheekbones looked Sephardic—with a great nose job. She was as WASP as a Cabot. But in her soul sang the songs of the shtetl. She had always wanted to be Jewish and often talked about converting, which always made fair-haired, green-eyed Annie laugh.

  “You want my guilt? My mother’s chicken soup? I’ll trade you even-steven for your grandfather.”

  Sam’s mother’s father. The wily one who had come to California without a dime in his jeans and had parlayed the sale of pickups to Okies into the largest truck dealership in the state. Who had invested his profits in thousands of acres of the San Fernando Valley before anybody else could see which way the wind was blowing. By the time others figured it out, several pretty millions were permanently ensconced in Sam’s trust fund.

  “No thanks. Why don’t I just buy lunch instead?” Sam caught the waitress’s eye and they ordered, including another Calistoga water for Sa
m.

  Sam drank only coffee and water. On-again, off-again, a part-time Southern California rebel, part-time debutante, she had leap-frogged her way through Beverly Hills High, several medicine cabinets of recreational drugs, a society wedding to a stockbroker, with Alfred Hitchcock among the guests, a divorce, Stanford Law School, a hard-driving associateship, and full-blown alcoholism by the time she was twenty-six. With the help of a good shrink and AA, she had left the law, found herself, and had not touched liquor for the past ten years.

  Annie picked up the thread of their conversation. “What if you did meet somebody in a place like this? How could you ever tell anyone that you met in a singles bar?”

  “This isn’t a singles bar. This is a restaurant,” Sam replied.

  “It’s a fine line, a very fine line,” Annie muttered around a mouthful of blintz. “But I did talk with a woman the other day who met her husband next door.”

  Next door was Perry’s, the original and most famous of the fern bars along Union Street, where beautiful bodies were a dime a dozen and the fine line among restaurants, boutiques, and pick-up bars was hazy. A nearby intersection with watering holes on three of its corners was so infamous for hearts and bodies colliding amid the tinkle of ice and crystal that it was nicknamed the “Bermuda Triangle.”

  Annie continued, “This woman had stopped in Perry’s one night for a quick drink with a girl friend from out of town who wanted to see the six-deep ultimate singles bar. When this long, tall Texan walked in complete with ten-gallon hat and boots, she turned to her friend and laughed, ‘Now there’s the man I’ve been waiting for all my life.’ Turned out he was. Also turned out he was an oil millionaire.”

  Sam groaned.

  “I know. It’s not fair, is it? Well, it’s not fair to me. After all, Sam, you don’t need a millionaire.”

  Complaining about the paucity of good men in their lives was a frequent theme of their conversations.

  “Want to hear another one that’ll make you sick?”

  “Shoot.”